A DAY AT THE GOAT RACES

Every year on the first weekend of May, Sly Fox brewery holds a bockfest at its Phoenixville location. My understanding is that the event has been going on for 4 years now. This was our first time. Apparently, it is a rain or shine event, because this time, it rained the whole day.

The focus of the day might be the bock beer but the highlight of the day is the goat race. Cutest damn animals I've ever seen. Some are small enough to carry; others are as large as a pony. Smarter than sheep and each having its own personality (so I was told). The centers of their eyes are oblong in shape, making them even more endearing. They were docile and each took to me, letting me scratch their heads and necks. I want some in my back yard. I want to make goat cheese. I want Sue to learn to milk them. I want to make puns about having kids at home again.

Clearly there are different kinds of goats and not all are created equally cute. We learned from talking to some of the handlers that there are farm goats and show goats and one type has their horns removed. That isn't nice. I want the other type.

But here is where the dream starts to unravel.

I figured, we would have to fence in the back yard, which is OK, but then we learned that no matter what you make your fence out of, you will wake up some mornings and find goats on your car.

Huh? Goats on my car? I have cats on my car now. I drive around with paw prints on my hood like a random form of racing stripe. I can live with that but I have to think goat hooves are going to leave more permanent marks.

And then there is the milking & cheese making part of the dream. I know, you don't just wake up one day and become a craft cheese maker. There would be a learning curve, and a need to secure rennet, and a need to dig a cave for aging the cheese, etc. But then I learned that goats don't just give milk unless they go through some kind of breeding process. That would mean I'd be looking at goats fornicating in my back yard - a wild kingdom image I (and my neighbors) don't need. Dream over. Baa!

Now, about the race... It was chaotic fun. You see, goats don't race. They get pulled to the finishing line by racing handlers who stop just short to allow the goat to cross the line first (or risk disqualification). To further coax the goats along, the crafty owners place other goats - presumably mothers or children, or attractive goats of the opposite sex - and other forms of temptation (everything from hay to marshmallows) at the the finishing line. I can't believe this makes a bit of difference to the goats. but it seems to add a level of strategy to an otherwise, one-dimensional event.

We were rooting for BAA-nana (the marshmallow eating goat) and BRIE (the cute one pictured at the top of this article) but neither won. The winning goat was named DAX. If I remember right, Dax was pulled over the finish line in the first heat by a big guy and should have been disqualified. In my mind, there is some controversy.

The prize for all this excitement is a $75 gift certificate and the naming right for this year's maibock beer, which was tapped immediately after the race.

For more details of the thrilling race, click here.

MONTHLY REPORT - APRIL, 2009

Don't laugh, this is therapeutic. ( Try it !)

And just as was the case when I worked, I am filing this report at the last minute!

All tasks were completed in April, 2009

Home Improvement & Management...

• Installed "Blu Starlight" granite countertop (outsourced to Innovative Stone) AND an under-cabinet sink and new kohler faucet (both outsourced to P&L Plumbing)
• Searched for backsplash materials but no decision yet
  
• Painted area of kitchen that was still that hideous tennis ball yellow shade - it now matches remainder of kitchen (RL Climbing Lily)
• Completed sourcing of materials for fireplace mantel (i.e., gathered rocks from undisclosed area). Also gathered materials for several small garden rock walls (second undisclosed area)
• Painted first (primer) coat on back room ceiling & walls
• Attacked yard & garden: planted 10 tomatoes, 11 peppers (including only 1 habanero this year); 2 flats of annuals - petunias, snap dragons, alyssum, violas & pansies; planted seeds & bulbs: sage, basil, radishes, zuchini & caladium; sowed and began harvesting 2 planters of lettuce;
• Heater FAILURE; called SEARS in to repair it - took them 2 tries
• Convinced SEARS heater WAS still under warranty even though their records said otherwise - saving me about $400 in parts and once again noting the value of good record keeping
• Negotiated with COMCAST for an extension to my CATV deal, lowering bill by $30/mo.
  
• Ordered FIOS triple play from Verizon, to be installed in June - thus marking an end to the COMCAST CIRCUS and starting the VERIZON CIRCUS !

Finance:

• Completed Federal, State and local tax returns
• Deposited tax-year 2008 IRA funds
  
• Filed quarterly estimate for local taxes
  
• Paid more $$ to township for Real Estate tax & Sewer rental
• Determined that no returns were required for 2008

On the technology front...

• Purchased Apple's wireless router and configured laptop to stream internet video to the TV
  
• Caught up on last 8 episodes of 24 from Fox on Demand
• Began streaming internet radio & iTunes through stereo and TV
  

Pet stewardship...

• Switched Wendy over to Purina's Sensitive Diet; occurrences of nighttime cat vomiting dropped significantly

ART & Creative Expression...

• completed 1 project (Jeremy's B&W portrait), initiated 4 new projects and continued efforts on the other 7 open projects
• Published 4 blog articles under Repulse The Monkey (is that all ???)
• Attended Fairmount Arts Crawl
  

On the social front...

• Added 5 new friends on facebook; rejected 1 from someone I don't know; still considering 1 request from someone I do know
  
• Lunched with a friend I haven't seen in a while, that was inspired through FACEBOOK
  
• Received several pictures from Kate Winslet, my new Facebook friend; I think she likes me.
  
• Easter brunch with kids
• Picnicked with kids in Valley Green
• Investigated 3 new restaurants (Chiangmai, Hymies Too & Holy Smoke BBQ and wrote 4 new reviews for YELP!
• Received 2 new compliments for my YELP reviews
  
• Joined WXPN's Program Partner Circle based on my vehicle donation; Effected a change in WXPN's policy when I convinced them to modify the way they handle vehicle donations in the future - i.e. to link it more closely to their other donation policies and programs
• Attended funeral for Aunt Eileen

And merging ART & SOCIAL...

• Accepted invitation to join GNAL board of directors; attented first (pre-election) board meeting and looking forward to my new role -- assuming election rigging is successful (!?) (note: overall, I am favorably impressed by the fact that everyone drinks wine during the meeting)

Health & Exercise:

• Aside from Monday Night Tennis, not enough exercise due to other priorities; this may explain the weight gain ...or maybe it's all the eating and drinking
• So far, no SWINE FLU - or as we are now calling in response to a request from the National Pork Producers Counsel, the OTHER WHITE MEAT FLU
  

Misc...

• Continued my STICKY BUN research efforts
• Started training for Cinco De Mayo
  
• Added another 80 miles on Naomi (my scooter) with no at-risk situations
• Entered Hyatt's 365 nights contest and Jeopardy's Galapagos Islands adventure contest; fully expecting to win both
  

MY HARRY KALAS MOMENT

I grew up on baseball and the Phillies during a time when By Saam and Bill Campbell were doing play-by-play on the radio. But I hit my stride later with the broadcast team of Richie Ashburn, Andy Musser and Harry Kalas. Baseball is a game of emotions so it is not surprising that we form a type of relationship - an emotional tie - with those that bring the game to us. And more so than the other announcers, I felt connected to Harry Kalas.

I will remember Harry in many ways but one that stands out occurred in August of 1993. I was heading to the West Coast for business and was able to work in a Phillies game in Colorado. It was on a warm, sunny, summer afternoon that I watched the final game of a 3 game series between the Phillies and Colorado Rockies at Mile High Stadium. The Phillies, who would go on to the World Series that year, were a powerful team. The Rockies on the other hand were an expansion team that struggled to only 67 wins, including 17 in September.

The Phillies won the first 2 games of the series handily and I was primed for a sweep -- but instead, I watched a painful loss. The Phillies started hot and had total control of the game, seeming to toy with the Rockies through the early innings. But as it often turns out in baseball, leaving too many runners on base and squandering opportunities comes back to bite you. For in the late innings, the Rockies rallied from a 0-5 deficit to win 6-5, leaving at least one out of town fan feeling lost and in need of explanation. The Phillies had broken my heart many times before, but watching a disaster like that when you are out of town and alone, takes it to a different level of disturbance. I know, it's only a game, but as a sports fan, we let it become more than a sport.

As I was leaving, I walked around the stands and past the broadcast booth. There was Harry, about 30 rows and another level up, staring out on the field. He looked like he was looking for answers too. As I walked within his field of view, I took off my Phillies cap and held it up towards him to get his attention. He looked at me and we made eye contact. I gave a lingering shrug, trying to say, "what happened?". He responded in a similar way letting me know that sometimes, there are no answers -- and letting me feel connected to him for a moment and comforted, that we are 2 fans away from home who felt the same way.

UPGRADE YOUR KITCHEN

One of the first projects I initiated when I stopped working was a multiyear, holistic effort to improve our living space - the home that I sometimes refer to as the LaFrance Building.

Not that anything is ever "complete" but last week we sealed the kitchen deal with a new granite countertop and faucet. And as I near the final phases of this project, let me declare my gratitude for the evolved and now seemingly infinite patience that my wife Sue now has. (Or seems to have.)

Why granite? Because 600,000,000 year old granite from Angola, on the West coast of South Central Africa that looks like a night sky pver the savannah - full of iridescent blue, twinkling stars - is so much neater to have than the green formica we bought from Heckingers 25 years ago.

Regardless of how absurd the process and cost was. How absurd you ask?

Absurdity 1 - the cost: How many times do I pay for the piece of granite that I never see - i.e., the hole where the sink goes? First you pay for the stone that will be cut out for your sink, then you pay to have it cut out, then for the final insult, they refuse to provide you with the cut out piece.

Absurdity 2 - the value not added: Home Depot (HD) explains how they will be the single point of contact for all elements of the job, and you tell them that is the reason I am buying from you. However, that is precisely what DOES NOT HAPPEN. Not only do you become the middleman between the plumber and the stone people, but you quickly become the one with more knowledge and experience than your Home Depot "single point of contact".

Absurdity 3 - House Crafters: HD uses a group called House Crafters to take care of the prep and plumbing. However, after Jason comes out to look at the site and talk to me about what is involved, he calls me later that day to say "The job is too small. My boss says we won't do it".
Sorry. End of involvement. They dropped the ball so completely, that it was left to ME to contact my "single point of contact" with the news. To HD's credit, they lined up another plumber and again reiterated that they would take responsibility for scheduling and coordination.

Absurdity 4 - The Schedule: HD schedules the plumber to arrive the same day as the granite. Problem is that according to the granite guys at Innovative Stone, you have to wait 24 hours for the silicone around the sink to set before hooking up the plumbing. So guess who has to contact HD again with the news flash. Ten minutes after I call HD, the plumber calls me to ask what I want. Tell me again what value HD is providing.

Absurdity 5 - The measurements: Does anyone check their work anymore ? In spite of all efforts to ensure that the template is accurately measured, and that the sketch reflects my requirements, and the review and sign off reiterates the key elements, such as the part that reads, "add 3/4 inch overhang on BOTH sides", the stone arrives, 3/4" short.

I am pissed. But after huddling with the design team (me) and the general contractor/single point of contact (me), I chose to forgo an overhang on the end next to the stove and negotiated a $200 credit. This seemed a better choice than to send the stone back and camp out for another 2 weeks without kitchen plumbing.

So bottom line... We have a beautiful stone and an upgraded kitchen - and we are happy. The stone was scribed to match the irregularities of the kitchen wall perfectly. Home Depot did not provide all they said they would but in retrospect and with what I learned along the way, I didn't really need them. The folks from Innovative Stone get mixed reviews. The guys that installed the countertop were nice to work with and were competent but overall, the company doesn't communicate well with the homeowner and has quality control problems. The best of the bunch was Mike from P&L plumbing, who attached my faucet and drain. He arrived on time and did a great job hooking things up.

HAPPY HOUR AT ANSILL

What started uncomfortably -- walking in at 6:15 to an empty happy hour -- ended with sated satisfaction. Bottom line: good food and a good happy hour. Albeit, with a couple bumps in the road.

First, there was the entrance. My brother & I were greeted from the opposite end of the bar by the bartender, a waitress and David Ansill himself. But then they scattered, making me feel like the boss who just entered the room to find his employees goofing off. And then there was the other greeting - that awful sanitary, chlorine smell that seems to haunt every restaurant in the late afternoon/early evening until things get going again. Let me digress and editorialize for a moment (and this is not just about Ansill)... I like cleanliness too but what is the deal with the intensity of the chlorine? Isn't there a better approach? Are we so germophobic that we allow that antiseptic, washday smell to be the leading impression for a restaurant - instead of something like the sweet smell of grilling foods? Enough.

Drinks. Since the web site advertises $3 drafts of Yards at happy hour, it was bizarro world when our bartender told me with a confused look "We don't have Yards". It was like, why am I even asking for it ? (Am I the only one who reads restaurant web sites?) So, after a little more confusion, I found out that the RowHouse Red from Philadelphia Brewing Co. was the happy hour beer. That's fine and it was good. I guess the whole Yards - Phila. Brewing Co. split up has not yet been resolved at the network layer.

Anyway, soon (but not soon enough - and I'm sure David feels the same way) other people joined us at the bar, making the atmosphere more social and giving the bartender more to do than just reshuffle our menus. The happy hour munchies were great - the oysters, the cheese plate and even the hard-to-get-excited-about, open faced tuna nicoise sandwich.

More food... the charcuterie plate included a pair of sweet & flavorful dry cured salami accompanied by cornichons, baguette slices and unnecessary grainy mustard. Soup of the day was a saffron tomato soup with mussels and (I believe) leeks topped with a crouton and lobster roe. Unfortunately, the bartender had us expecting a caldo verde with spinach & chorizo, not the tomato based soup that gives my brother agita. I went with it and although I probably would not have ordered it, it was fantastic. The waiter made a very theatric apology and took my brother's uneaten soup off the bill but a little something else tossed in from the kitchen would have been a nicer makeup.

We also had the grilled chicken from the larger plates menu (note here that the term "larger" is a relative word) . It was also well prepared and came with a sprig of broccoli rabe and a grilled lemon.

All in all, a very satisfying eating adventure.

Also posted on YELP. Or, click here to see my other YELP reviews.