Saturday, July 31, 2010

AFTER THE DELUGE





Some of them were dreamers
And some of them were fools
Who were making plans and thinking of the future

With the energy of the innocent
They were gathering the tools
They would need to make their journey back to nature






While the sand slipped through the opening

And their hands reached for the golden ring

With their hearts they turned to each other's heart for refuge

In the troubled years that came before the deluge





Some of them knew pleasure
And some of them knew pain
And for some of them it was only the moment that mattered

And on the brave and crazy wings of youth
They went flying around in the rain
And their feathers, once so fine, grew torn and tattered


And in the end they traded their tired wings
For the resignation that living brings
And exchanged love's bright and fragile glow
For the glitter and the rouge
And in the moment they were swept before the deluge


Now let the music keep our spirits high
And let the buildings keep our children dry
Let creation reveal it's secrets by and by

When the light that's lost within us reaches the sky



Some of them were angry
At the way the earth was abused
By the men who learned how to forge her beauty into power

And they struggled to protect her from them
Only to be confused
By the magnitude of her fury in the final hour



And when the sand was gone and the time arrived
In the naked dawn only a few survived
And in attempts to understand a thing so simple and so huge
Believed that they were meant to live after the deluge


Now let the music keep our spirits high

And let the buildings keep our children dry

Let creation reveal it's secrets by and by


By and by


When the light that's lost within us reaches the sky


Before The Deluge (c) Jackson Browne 1974

Friday, July 30, 2010

MAN TRADES SISTER FOR INVITATION TO THE CHELSEA CLINTON WEDDING

Lafayette Hill, PA
July 29, 2010

What started as a joke on Facebook has turned one man's pointless sarcasm into a once in a lifetime brush with power and fame, when Christopher Smith (not his real name) received a last minute invite to the Chelsea Clinton wedding. The ceremony is to be held this Saturday at a secret location, under a tent at the former estate of John Jacob Astor IV in Rhinebeck, N.Y.

"Yes, I did make a wise crack on my facebook page, saying how excited I was, and eventually offering to trade my sister for an invitation to the wedding after my "friends" started responding with their own "witty" remarks. But I was only kidding.

Then out of nowhere, the thing went viral on the internet.

The next thing I know, the secret service is in front of my house and it all wet crazy from there."

It is not clear how a Facebook comment could go viral, but Chris has his own theory.

"My guess - [it was] probably a joke by one of the big brothers looking over my shoulder, you know, the government guys that read everything that's posted everywhere."

When asked to give more details about how the secret service delivered the invitation... what kind of interaction took place, Chris revealed very little.

"I don't think I can say. I mean no one ever said it was top secret - in so few words. But I asked the one guy how this happened and only explanation I received was, 'Shut up asshole or you'll be in Afghanistan quicker than shit through a goose.'

I have to admit, I am a little confused about that response, and the analogy -- so it could be that I was not hearing clearly. I mean, with all these oversized extras from 24 in my living room, the dark glasses, the black SUVs out front, it was very surreal and overwhelming."

But what about his sister?

"To my surprise, they made me stand by my offer. I was forced - and I am not using this term lightly - forced to sign a paper about giving up my sister, Lana. None of this seems legal but I heard later from a neighbor of hers that a set of black Cadillac Escalades showed up at her front door and whisked her out. Apparently, there was some kicking and screaming.

But honestly, her life was becoming too quiet and routine. So kicking and screaming aside - which I'm sure, was more a show for the neighbors - she probably finds this to be a blast... an opportunity for a new direction in life.

I'm sure her kids will be OK. If they even notice."

I guess the only other question for Chris is, did he accept the invitation.

"Well, I said OK, so I guess at this point, I'm going to have to attend. It's too late to go shopping for gift ponies or soccer teams, so I guess I'll just put a check in a card. Any idea how much I should give them?"

Thursday, July 15, 2010

IT WAS A SMOKED TROUT KIND OF MORNING

Open-faced Smoked Trout Breakfast Sandwich (elements listed from top to bottom)

Fine herbs, sea salt, cracked pepper

Capers and diced onion (sweet or purple onion if you have it)

Tomatoes with a dash of Tabasco

Flaked smoked trout (I smoked mine with hickory on a Webber grill)

Cream cheese (plain or a veggie cream cheese spread)

Toasted italian bread (the bread in the picture is a Tuscan bread from Metropolitan bakery - use another bread of your choosing or a bagel)

I enjoy mine with a cup of deep black French Roast coffee or orange juice.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Recipe: EGGLESS BLUEBERRY BUTTERMILK PANCAKES


We will get to the recipe in a moment but first, a few thoughts about pancakes, eggs and the conspiracy therein.

Look, I'm no Alton Brown, so I can't go on about the hemoglobular binding of egg protein to flour glutens, which eliminates a certain chewiness while creating a more cake-like consistency - and thus defines why panCAKES must contain eggs.

Instead, I wonder about a world without their inclusion.

And after making a few batches of eggless pancakes, I began to question what they were doing in them all along. Here's what I discovered(*).


In the early 19th century, America was an agrarian economy. Farms were plentiful and most included a coop or 3 of chickens. Before long, there were too many farms and too many chickens laying too many eggs. The country literally began to stink from wasted production around the same time the price of eggs plummeted. Exacerbating this excess was the lack of options for what to do with eggs.

To remedy this situation, the American Egg Marketing Board was formed in 1836. One of the first things it did was to develop a series of new recipes to increase the use of eggs, along with a marketing campaign for improving the image and perceived value of the egg. For the first time in history, Americans were told of "the incredible edible egg". The egg was referred to as "God's perfect breakfast" and "Manna from Hanna" - Hanna being the icon/mascot of the AEMB.

Many recipes in the collection were the standard fare of the time such the Omelet, Sticky Pudding, Cheese Souffle but were amped up to require the use of more eggs. The 2 egg omelet became the 5 egg omelet. Sticky pudding became richer. Souffles became taller. America was well on its way to leading the world in waistline size and arterial congestion.

Other recipes were grabbed from around the world for inclusion. Eggs Benedict came into vogue for the first time in America. (aside: Most people believe that Eggs Benedict was named after Benedict Arnold because of its soft texture and yellow runny middle, but is is now widely believed to have been originated by the Benedictine friars in the mid 15th century.)

The AEMB also created its own recipes, one of which is considered its pièce de résistance: the "Boxer's Breakfast" - a full dozen eggs in a glass with squirts of hot sauce and worsteshire - the precursor of what Rocky Balboa consumed in Rocky I, the movie.

But the Board wished to go beyond the normal range of gathering and inventing. It had to tweak. And so it added eggs to mixed drinks, forever modifying the Pisco sour and the Ramos Gin Fizz. And more to the point, the AEMB added eggs to several long standing recipes for ice cream and yes, pancakes !

Betty Crocker did her part to foster the reliance of eggs by cementing them as standards of Americana, first with the "Betty Crocker Cooking School of the Air" in 1924 and then with the publication of her cookbook in 1941. Conspiracists believe that the AEMB was the genesis for the fictitious Betty Crocker, pointing to the fact that the daughter of the first AEMB President was named Betty and that she had a dog named Crockett (after Davy Crockett, of course).

Since then, time and our perception of eggs have changed somewhat. And although we view eggs in a different light today, most of the same recipes exist exactly as they were.

Now on to my recipe, my advocacy for less eggs in the kitchen.


Eggless Blueberry Buttermilk Pancakes

1. Start by adding as much flour as you want to a bowl - as much as you plan to eat. The standard pancake recipe calls for 1 cup flour, so I will list the ingredients from that point of reference. However, I used 1/3 cup today for 3 - 7" pancakes, and adjusted everything else accordingly

2. For each cup of flour, add:  (Be sure to mix the dry ingredients together before adding any liquids)
    1 tsp. baking powder
    1/2 tsp. baking soda
    1/2 tsp. salt
    1 Tbl. sugar
    1 Tbl. light tasting oil (like canola, NOT like olive or peanut)
    Dash of vanilla extract (only the real stuff, please!)

3. Add enough buttermilk and mix until you have a medium thin batter. Technically, this is about the same amount as the amount of flour that you used, but because this recipe makes a chewier pancake, I tend to make my batter thinner.

4. Add blueberries.

From this point on, make them like you usually do... big, small, silver dollar size, whatever. If you don't have blueberries, add strawberries or bananas. If you are using bananas, add walnuts - and for a real treat, add some chocolate chips too.

NOTE: The brilliance of omitting the egg is more than the caloric and cholesterol savings. It improves the taste of the blueberry by not clouding it. It also opens up a freedom to make only as much as you want. No leftover batter that turns green after 2 days. With the traditional recipe, you had to futz with the egg if you wanted to make less than a full batch - try to divide it or reduce the ingredients but increase the ratio of egg in the batter. Now, when you go eggless, everything becomes infinitely and easily divisible.

OK, maybe "infinitely" is an exageration.


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PS - if this seems too inexact for you, please loosen up. It's hard to screw up a pancake recipe as long as you are close. A little more baking powder, a little less sugar, less salt or oil, more liquids, thicker, thinner - it all works. Conventional wisdom says to not over mix the batter. i.e., leave some lumps. I don't subscribe to that, but you can.

(*) And when I say, "discovered", it should not be taken in the same sense as most people do - to come upon something for the first time, perhaps previously research and written by some expert, and presumably, factual in nature. Instead, I mean it in the way of discovery through vision and invention - what some might call, fanciful fiction. Or maybe not. After all, last night while watching a program on The Discovery Channel, "Through the Wormhole", I mused out loud that perhaps scientists are having trouble unifying theories of forces because GRAVITY is not a FORCE. i.e., that it does not exist in itself but as a result of other things. And then TODAY, I read the same thing in the N.Y. Times. Weird??? Absolutely. Will tomorrow's paper include eggless pancake recipes and information about the AEMB? Quite possibly.
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