MY FIRST 100 PIAGGIO MILES

Last week, Naomi turned 100. What I am talking about is the mileage on my 2009 Piaggio FLY-150. She is the first powered 2 wheeler for this 57 year old novice, and here's what I found...

1. IT IS FUN ! I have at last reached a point of comfort with the skills, responsibilities and challenges to let me take in how much fun it is. This is more than a cerebral acknowledgment. It is the joy experienced from buzzing around on 2 wheels and feeling the acceleration - power that is provided by my right hand on the throttle rather than my legs painfully pumping harder on a bicycle.

2. THE SATISFACTION OF GAINING INSTINCTS With every turn I make now, I automatically press my left thumb on the turn signal to cancel it. How embarrassing it was on my first rides to look down and see my blinker still on a mile after I made the turn. Along with this seemingly simple skill is another one that means a lot - the comfort I've gained in accelerating from a stop, into a turn. It is a simple matter of where you place your center of balance - but I can still remember the practice times in the parking lot when I didn't lean enough and my weight was high, and the acceleration wanted to take me out of the turn. Now that it is behind me and the subconscious takes command, my conscious is free to pay more attention to everything else I need to be concerned about

3. A CYCLE OF APPREHENSION AND COMFORT - There is a difference between reaching a point of comfort and relaxing your guard. One means you are gaining skills, the other means you are being careless. So in the conversion of conscious application to instinctive motions, I find myself questioning if I am continuing to be vigilant enough. I think it's a natural reaction to not spending as much conscious effort on things like turning and leaning.

4. BUCKLE WHAT UP? Maybe the weirdest thing has been to question myself just before starting off - Am I forgetting something (something that has to do with safety)? I think it is the phantom seat belt sensation. That is, subconsciously questioning my safety by thinking shouldn't I buckle up before I go into traffic?

5. THE PLANE LANDING OVER MY SHOULDER Closing up the air slots in my helmet has stopped me from looking over my shoulder to see if a plane was landing on my head. However, with the warmer weather coming, I guess I'll have to learn to adapt to the noise.

6. THE FORCE OF WIND It was amazing to feel the force of the wind, the first time I drove over 45 mph into a variable head wind. As a bicyclist, I always understood how a small headwind in any situation made a huge difference to the work you had to put out. But on the bicycle, we are talking of speeds between 14 and 24 mph. The difference here is how much more it is magnified as speed increases above 40. The rule is that wind force increases exponentially with speed. As a kinesthetic learner, I can now say my knowledge of this principle has just increased.

7. RESPECT I am surprised of how much respect I get from other drivers (SO FAR). Much more than when I drive my Miata. They give you room. They don't jump in front of you. They stay off your bumper. BUT of course, I am talking about the drivers who are being responsible and paying attention. The enormous vigilance I keep - the stuff that makes me feel tired after even a short ride - continues to be needed not just for them but especially for the ones who aren't paying enough attention.

DISCOVERING CHELSEA LATELY

Appropriately enough, I came upon Chelsea Lately around 3:10 am last night -- about a half hour into another one of my now too regular middle night channel-surfing-and-sleep-therapy sessions. I'm not sure what to make it (her?) yet, but between my ambivalence, I found Chelsea different enough and interesting enough to keep me awake until about 4:30. (At which point I began dreaming of being late for a group dinner on the 6th floor of the mythical Parasol Restaurant in Peoria - where the tables are set in gondolas, suspended from the ceiling and shaded from the (ceiling lights?) by huge parasols... and PS, there are no 6th floors in Peoria. But I digress.)

I say "it" because after some research I learned that "Chelsea Lately" is the name of the 11pm talk show on E! while Chelsea Handler is the name of the comedian who hosts it. Not what I thought last night.

Stimulated by the novelty, I took a bunch of notes to try to capture my thoughts. But as expected I can't read hardly anything I wrote... something about how "she wears her bear" and the "southly dannliar in sploof". I'm pretty sure this last note was an important one because it had 3 exclamation points.

Her delivery is dry and sarcastic and I liked the material from last night's show(s?) because for the most part, it matched my sensibility - but I can see where this might not always be the case. Her supporting crew of comics however presented a mixed bag - sometimes funny but also often more cruel than necessary.

However, what got my insomniac, post mid-night brain twisted the most was when she did a monologue on Celebrity Apprentice and a Dennis Rodman freak-out. Her comments seemed so familiar - not in a deja-vu sort of way or like when you recognize that you've seen a movie before - halfway through seeing it again, but it was like I was hearing some kind of precursory future past tense. It was like she was reading something I WROTE, like something I might have written on this blog if I had seen Dennis Rodman and then commented on it. It was truely surreal and reflective of my own sarcastic tendencies. I think I could like this woman.

OOPS, BETTER TAKE THE SEAL MEAT IS OFF THE MENU

LOOK! it's one of our dear Food Channel celebrity chefs on an ad on my facebook page.

Cat Cora - a woman who focuses her energy on among other things, bringing dead animals to our plate after carving and pounding and plying their bodies with spices and grill marks... now on a new campaign to help "end the Canadian Seal hunt".

I did a quick check before I put a foot in my own mouth to see if she was a vegetarian but according to Wikipedia, her favorite dish is Greek cinnamon CHICKEN.

Good thing CHICKENS aren't as cute as harp seals, huh ?

"POWER" BREAKFAST

Life has gotten complicated I know, but sometimes when good things happen in small ways, I am reminded why I believe in Karma and metaphysical phenomena .

My visit to Starbucks this morning went something like this...

1. When Mistakes Align to Cancel Each Other
After ordering a tall coffee and a bacon-egg-smoked Gouda sandwich, I remembered that I forgot to ask for the bold brew of coffee. (If you don't go to Starbucks, understand that when you don't specify what kind of coffee you want, they pour Pike Place. It's OK but it's under roasted and designed for cream and sugar - comes up a little short for my black coffee drinking taste.)

So I asked my barista Jenna (not her real name*) if she could make that the bold. But somewhere between not quite hearing me and saying something I didn't understand, she had already filled the cup, so I said "never mind" (my mistake).

Jenna handed me the coffee, saying, "Sorry. I poured you a bold because it was fresher."

"That's actually what I meant to ask for - but don't you default to Pike Place?"

"Yeah, but I messed up. I should have asked you if you would rather have the bold, but I forgot."

:-)

* Name changed to protect her identity and I don't know her real name, anyway


2. Instant Karma
Before the coffee exchange took place, and as I was entering the store, I held the door for the girl coming in behind me. Even though she was beyond the range of proximity for a natural courtesy, I waited - not because she was good looking (she was, but it was not my intent nor frame of mind) - but because I wanted to be nice. (I would take a poll of who believes me, but I already know the results).

Then later, after leaving the store with my hands full -- with my car keys and the breakfast sandwich and the coffee which had spilled onto my hand (through the stupid sippy hole in the lid), and now looking for a 3rd hand to pull napkins out of my pocket... I got back in my car. But where are my keys? After going through 2 cycles of a search pattern to find them -- not in the ignition, in my pants pocket, in my jacket pocket, on the seat -- but before I could plan a new search strategy, I saw that girl again (who I held the door for). She was backing her Audi A4 out of her parking spot and deliberately backing farther than she needed to in order to sneak one more look at me (my read, but it was obvious).

She rolled her window down. I rolled my window down. She said, "Are you looking for your keys?".

I heard the twilight zone theme song, playing in the air.

"They're on your roof".

OK.... but she had to have been looking at me already to have noticed the keys. :-)

BREAKFAST EXPERIMENT

I winged it at breakfast this morning.

With an image in my head of making a sticky bun pancake, I broke an egg and removed the chalaza, added some buttermilk, spoon of sugar, splash of vanilla & whisked it. Then threw in a scoop of flour and poured some baking powder, baking soda & salt in my hand, added it to the flour and blended with a little more buttermilk to get it to the consistency of thin plaster - or gesso - a thick crepe batter (pick your reference).

Placed a tablespoon of butter to a large, heated, no-stick* pan, cut up a granny smith, threw in some golden raisins, toasted walnuts & pecans, and a spoon of brown sugar. After the sugar combined with the butter and the apples started to saute, I poured the entire batter over top (first surrounding the pile of goo, then filling the middle).

The only problem came at flipping time. It was still gooey in the middle and I had nothing large enough to support the whole thing. It was too loose and probably stuck in the middle to flip through the air (remember the *). So I folded it, covered it with a lid and flipped it a few times until I was sure the middle was done. Plated it and dusted with powdered sugar.


It was really great - somewhere between a good buttermilk pancake and a clafoutis. Moist and sweet with caramelized apple, raisins & nuts, it did not need syrup. I doubt I can repeat it again, but just in case I want to try, I am documenting it here. Try it yourself. If nothing else, you will learn something from the effort.

(*) Do any non stick pans stay that way for long? Mine don't.

THE LEGION OF THE LOST

Let's take a break from all the sweetness and light I've been broadcasting because there is some darkness out there. For today, I inducted 2 new entries into the Hall of Missing Things.

The Hall of Missing Things is a virtual museum - a list I keep of what I can't find any more. And added today, were 2 of my everyday tools. After taking one more look EVERYWHERE, I am giving up on them. I've called off the search and sent the men in grey to visit their next of kin. They were like friends and now they are gone.

#1 - a pair of pliers - heavy duty with a wire cutter. I used this tool for pulling nails out of boards and for other jobs that would not listen to the offers from more gentile pliers. Yes, he was a more aggressive tool, and he was kept in my separate tool box for all the sharp and cutting and rasping tools -- but he and I went back a long ways and I was fond of him, warmly thinking of him not as one of my superstars, but more like a loyal enforcer who would give me his last drop of energy if I asked for it.

Last seen on October 5, during the now infamous roofing weekend, I fear he is laying outside somewhere, hidden and rusting.

#2 pisses me off more because this one was lost while under my constant supervision, there is no one else in the equation that describes the disappearance of my small retractable tape measure, than me. She was a light and nimble tape, clean in her action and somewhat sexy. I fear I put her down during one of our outings when perhaps distracted by what I needed to do next, forgot to pick her up. She might me at the park (where she was measuring rocks for my fireplace) or at Lowes.

Worse than not having these tools is what I fear it says about me and my ability to manage my minions -- that I am slipping further into the muddled mental cavity of old age.

Or, perhaps I am getting overly dramatic. Thanks, I'll stop.

PS - if you read an earlier version of this post, you might remember there were 3 lost tools. Incredably, a previously lost pair of pliers turned up - in my box of FIRST AID STUFF ! Another mystery solved only to create a new mystery.

COMMON GROUND

I like to think of myself as something of a risk taker. For example, at the age of 56, I decided that a small convertible was not dangerous enough, so I bought an Italian scooter and went out in traffic on 2 wheels for the first time.

But compared to Alain Robert, I feel like a very modest bookkeeper. Alain is the man who climbs buildings - on the outside, that is. Straight up the facade. Without ropes, pitons or other mechanical tools. Just his hands.

In 1999, when he climbed the Sears Tower in Chicago, he said that just near the top, he experienced an unexpected amount of condensation from the air conditioners and almost fell - and for a split second, he experienced fear - for a split second.

In the article I just read, Alain spoke of how politicians are driving society in such a way that everything has to do with money and safety - leaving little room for fun anymore. I can relate to that. He also spoke of how his exploits inspire people by helping them look at things differently. For example, as he was climbing the NY Times building in New York, he felt that maybe for a few moments, he was helping New Yorkers see the building as something other than a target, something to be trapped in. I like that. What he was talking about is art, and it is one of the reasons why I am attracted to art also.

I am so far from this man in terms of the kind of risk situation I put myself in but now I have found a few things that we have in common. And perhaps at some gut level, during my own climbing adventures - in trees and cliffs and on rocks, I feel a relative, if not proportionate commonality with him.

This is a good way to think about things, isn't it - to find what is it that we share and have in common with others - even if there is an exponential factor of difference. I don't know that I was able to think this way when I was working and the other dogs were trying to eat my dog at work. Hell, I just wanted to bury them before they buried me. But now I can think this way, and it's a positive, life affirming thing.

The kind of positive thing that we should all be doing.

And if you have a little time to spend on low purpose research, you might try this yourself - to see what you can find in common with someone else. Perhaps someone you admire, or someone you just happened to read about. Like Alain Robert. Or Leonardo DiCaprio.

Leo and I have at least 5 things in common. (besides our good looks):

1. Stanley Kubrick's movie, The Shining" is in our lists of the top 5 greatest movies
2. We believe you have to take full responsibility for your own character
3. We both learned early in life that creativity is hugely important
4. We are both Scorpios
5. We both have a thing for Kate Winslet

I always liked Leonardo, but now there is an added dimension. It's all about common ground

MAKE YOUR OWN MAPLE SYRUP

Here's something I would not be doing if I was flying off every Monday to a consulting assignment.... making MAPLE SYRUP. And let me tell you how satisfying it is, especially with blueberry pancakes, or glazed on roast pork or grilled salmon.

The 2009 syrup season just ended - total production this year was just over 1 liter of light amber, home grown maple syrup, which was boiled down from 33.68 liters of sap that I collected between February 18 and March 8. Maybe I could have boiled it down a little more for a thicker viscosity, but as it is, it is so sweet and good. Absolutely amazing. All this from 3 silver maple trees growing in my yard - one of which was not pulling its weight.

The season starts when the nights are still below freezing but afternoons warm up enough to get the tree to start making sugar and flowing its sap. Season ends just before the buds open - which varies according to the weather. When that happens, the tree produces other chemicals which make for a pretty nasty, plastic taste in the syrup.

I make my own taps out of plastic tubes and as you can see in the picture, I collect the sap in plastic milk jugs. If you want more information about the process, the science or where to buy taps, there are a lot of good web sites out there.

Boiling takes a while because there is only a small amount of sugar in the sap (less than 2%) and the house steams up and smells all caramelly, but to me, these are good side effects of the process.

One last word - a credit to my son in law, Aric, for suggesting to me that the silver maples also produce a sugary sap. Prior to that, I thought you needed a sugar maple. So, a big thanks to him and we'll do it again next year.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR TIME ?

Many have asked me this question - and I have tried to answer it. But from the feedback I get (or lack of responses, and blank faces), I know I don't do it well. Because, I do not have a good one sentence comeback - like "I fish" or "I golf", or any other neat package that a person can picture themselves in. And when I start to speak of all the things I do, I lose people. But before losing them, I find that they latch on to the first thing I say and reflect back on it, usually with a negative comment.

But let me tell you, not working is where it's at ! For one thing, when you don't work, you don't commute. Think about that benefit to your nerves, cardio and endocrine systems - not to mention the cost of commuting and the harm to the environment.

I'll address some of the specifics later, but let's keep it at a high level here. For me, retirement is more about enjoying life, staying young, having fresh experiences, investigating information and opportunities, trying to become wiser - and smarter, staying challenged, creating better relationships, growing as a person. If you know what a Renaissance man is - someone who has a wide scope of interests and skills - then you can begin to understand my approach to life. Not working allows me to spend my free time being one and learning to become a better one.